he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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