I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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