My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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