i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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