spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
