He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
