I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Randomize
