dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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