I'm lost and stupid without you.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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