Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Randomize
