38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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