i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
