Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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