Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize