yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Come see our sink grown plant.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
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