just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just google imaged poop.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
