I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Is Oprah even human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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