God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
