New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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