Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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