In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
