My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
