so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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