The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
