K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
