I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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