Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize