I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
