If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
