dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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