I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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