In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
