I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize