i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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