Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
