you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
