Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i came on her dog
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
