I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
