i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he shaved USA in his pubs
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
