I must be too annoying 4 u.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
