turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
the raccoons are back...
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