Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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