Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
