Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
