oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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