I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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