i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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