? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
