It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize