This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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