do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
