I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
