Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
