U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
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