Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
