Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
