i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
