i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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