I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
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And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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