The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
as a side note pls kill me
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
