so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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