i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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