Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
