don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not ubering you a puppy
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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