its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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