Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
