sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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