I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Randomize
