doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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