He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
