Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
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