You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
